1. You drive home from your girlfriend’s house, deciding to make your own breakfast since everywhere is so damn expensive.

2. There is no parking on your block. It’s Alternate Side Parking until 10 AM, so it’s illegal to park on half the other blocks.

3. There’s no parking within a mile of your place.

4. There’s apparently no Goddamn parking anywhere in the State of New York.

5. You realize deep down inside that every life decision you made that led to you owning a car in NYC was a horrendous mistake.

6. Oh! You thought you found a spot! But there was a fire hydrant.

7. Fuck people whose houses are on fire.

8. It dawns on you that there are currently 500 cars circling around looking for a mythical spot that only exists in your collective fantasies.

9. You give up, pay for metered parking, buy breakfast and wait in your car for Alternate Side Parking to end at 10 AM.

It’s a hell of a business.